..:: Panglantaw ::..

drama nga adunay pagtolonan

2006-01-13T16:18:00.000-08:00

halo mga higala ug mga amigo! ania nasad ako nga magsugilon sa inyo sa akong kaagi aron inyong makat-unan ang mga nagkalain-laing mga pagtolonan sa akong mga kahibulongan nga mga kaagi. dugay-dugay nasad ako nga wala makadu-aw niining websayta, ug gimingaw na gayud ako kaninyo mga higala! haayy, entawon kining inyong higala, nagsigi na lang man gud ug trabaho busa wala makahigayon sa pagdu-aw. undangon ta na ang drama kay aduna ako'y isugilon kaninyo nga istorya, usa kani ka drama sa radyo nga akong nadunggan samtang ako nagsakay sa usa ka taxi dinhi sa dakbayan. kuyawa gayud nako atong dramaha, sa titulo pa lang gani, makabugto na ug mga underwear: "HULBUTA! AYAW!" di ba labing ngilngiga? ug dinhi nagsugod ang atong istorya...adunay duha ka managtrato nga ginganlan ug Lasyo ug Magda nga grabe kaayo ka kusog ug mga sekswal drayb labi na gayud kining si Lasyo nga grabe ka hilig. nakadesisyon sila nga ipagawas ilang gibati didto sa likod sa sementeryo paghuman nila sa ilang klase. sa dihang nanggawas na sila sa eskwelahan, midalikyat gyud sila dayon sa ilalum sa usa ka gamay nga payag ilalom sa usa ka dakong kahoy sa kalibonan sa likod sa sementeryo, dira ba sa may Hayes...hehehe, sa nakabalo lang...ug miingon si Lasyo, "day Magda, diri nako ipatagamtam kanimo ang kalami nga wala dinhi, wala ngadto...makit-an mo gayud kung unsaon ko pagbali sa imong baticolon!" ug mitubag si Magda, "Oy, Las sige, ahhh" gikaliguan ni Lasyo si Magda ug mga halok nga naga-basabasa tungod sa laway, nagpanilap ang gago sa katam-is sa panit ni Magda ug si Magda pud nga labing igatan sa tanang igat nag-ihid-ihid sad sa tumang kalami. Ug si Lasyo mipaubos ug miandam sa iyang powermoves na three hit combo, kun sa akong higala pa nga si Vanmark, mao daw kini ang "Tornadoe Tongue". samtang nagapadayon si Lasyo sa pagsisid ug pagsuyop-suyop sa kaunuran ni Magda, nagreklamo kini, "pirting pagkaparat ba sad niini Magda!" ug natandog sad ang garbo ni Magda nga mitubag, "saba dira Las, ayaw pag-undang, sige pa, sige..." ug iyang gipsulod ug maayo ang ulo ni Lasyo sa iyang katunga-tunga. makit-an nato nga samtang si Lasyo nagantos sa ka-aslom ug kaparat sa timpla ni Magda, ug samtang ang mata ni Magda nagsulirap na tungod sa kalami, miabot ang usa ka gamay nga tao nga bako ug nagkalisod ug lakaw. gi-abrihan niya ang purtahan sa payag nga gamay nga wala masayod kung unsa'y nangahitabo sa sulod. Ug sa dihang gi-abrihan na niya ang purtahan nakita niya ang usa ka talan-awon nga dugay na niyang wala nakit-an: ang ulo ni Lasyo nga naa sa tunga-tunga sa kaunuran ni Magda nga nanghiwid na tungod sa iyang natagamtaman. Nagkaguliyang ang mga tao, unya gi-insertan dayon nila ug komersyal sa usa ka "Tiktik Ice Pop!"...bilanggutiman, wala ako makabantay nga kaming duha diay sa drayber pirting paminaw sa maong programa ug maayo gani nga wala kami nabangga, kadtong drayber sad nga manyakis, gihimas-himas man sab ang manubila busa diay nagliko-liko ang among gisakyan...whoo...murag taas-taas na gani kadto, sa sunod ko na ipadayon ang maong sugilanon kay murag kapoy na ug type...

p.s.: wa ba kamo'y namatikdan sa sugilanon, unsa ma'y buot ipasabot ug buot ipa-abot sa nag-gama aning maong sugilanon. panglantaw kamo mga igsoon. daghang salamat.

sa dihang ako gisagpa sa mabugnaw nga hangin

2005-12-14T17:06:00.000-08:00

Sa adlaw-adlaw nakong pagsakay-sakay sa dyip dinhi sa ciudad, ug sa kanunay nakong pagpaniid sa palibot, nabantayan ko nga hapit na gayod ang kapaskohan, ug sa dihang gidungaw-dungaw ko ang akong dagway sa bintana sa dyip, mura ba ug adunay mabugnaw nga hangin nga milaparo sa akong mga aping, diha ko naamgo nga usa nalang diay gayod kaadlaw ug magasugod nasad ang naandang tradisyon sa katigulangan nga mao ang "Misa de Gallo". Kani nga tradisyon magagikan pa sa panahon sa mga Katsila ug naandan na nga buluhaton kung muabotay ang pasko. Ang akong mga kinahiladman sa maong okasyon mao gayod ang pagkabibo ug pagkasadya - di pa halap sa akong panglantaw sa akong pagkabata ang mga panahon nga ako ginadala sa akong lola ngadto sa simbahan nga pagkadaghan ug tawo bisan pa man sa pagkabugnaw sa panahon; mga pagkaon sa mga kalan-on nga baligya sa gawas sa simbahan, mga dulaan nga ginapa-ibog-ibog sa tigbaligya, ug uban pa nga masadyang lantawonon sa usa ka bata. Haay, ang kagahapon, sa dili ba mao rag kasayong kab-uton apan dili di-ay. Karon sa daghan nga mga katu-igan ang milabay, dugay-dugay na usab ako wala maka-sinati sa maong tradisyon ug ako karon nakadesisyon nga maniid na usab sa palibot, mangulekta ug mga kaagi ug nagkalain-laing panglantaw sa umaabot nga adlaw sa kapaskohan. Ahhaay, kagutom ba gyud oy, palit sa ko ug balot, dili lang sa ko magbayad sa dyip, hehehe, ayaw saba ha.

sa mabugnaw nga panahon

2005-09-18T05:16:00.000-07:00

Ania na usab ako mga higala, di ba nga gibiyaan ta kamo niadtong nakakita ko ug usa ka kahibulongan nga singko? Ug ako kining gipamalangdungan ug ayo? Ug di ba sad nga misulay tawon ako sa pag-udlot niini gikan sa iyang gipikitan nga aspalto? Subo gayud kay wala ako mulampos sa akong tumong kay di ba napisikan man intawon ako ug hugaw nga tubig niadtong wala'y batasan nga jeep nga milabay sa akong tungod? Haaay, tungod entawon ato, napuling ako ug nagkalisod sa pag-tangtang sa buling nga mitapot sa akong mata niadtong tungura, ug wala na ako makahuna-huna sa pagkuha sa singko, nagdagan-dagan ko nga wa makahibalo sa akong padulngan, hangtud sa naka-abot ako sa among panimalay. Pagka-kahibulongan gayud.

Busa karon ako, nagpahimutang na dinhi sa akong katre, ug tupad kanako ang usa ka maanindot ug matahom nga binuhat, perteng lami-a gayud niya ug pagkahamis sa iyang panit, pagkahumot sa iyang buhok, ug pagka humok sa iyang kamot, kun sa ato mamorj kaayo kini, hehehe, apan kay aduna pa akoy duha ka mga kauban sa lawak nga muabot karong taud-taud, pagasugdan ko na ang akong pagabuhaton, hehehe, kay mintras alas nueve palang sa kagabhion ug ang ulan mibundak na usab ug ang panahon bugnaw kaayo, dili ko ni palapson nga pagkakataon, hehehe, ani-a na, oyy...pagka-gilok kaayo imong kamot swithart...ayaw diha kay ako nang balahibo sa tiil...ayayayay!!! Palungon ko na kining kompyuter oy, sige naaaaahhhh...di ba ana si God nga ang mga babaye palanggaon ug ayo? Mao sad na akong buhaton kanimo swithart, hehehe, palanggaon...ug aaayyyyooo, aahhh...

P.S. Mga higala, i-"censored" ta lang ni nga dapita ha, kay kabalo na mo, di ko makaconcentrate sa akong buhaton diri. Pag-imagine nalang mo nga inyong nag-alagad nakighilawas kang Monica Bellucci, perteng paytira ah!!! Ato ni bay, itaas nato ang bandila sa taga-Cagayan! :)

ang kahibulongan nga singko

2005-09-17T04:33:00.000-07:00

...sa akong pagdungo-dungo, nalabyan ko ang naglain-laing butang nga kahibulongan sama sa usa ka singko nga sensilyo nga mipikit sa aspalto. Ngano nga siya kahibulongan, kay kining singko ang magtabang kanako aron ako makahinggawas sa kakapoy sa akong mga katiilan, sa kadugay nako nga pagbaklay-baklay, akong mga tiil nanakit ug nanghawoy hangtod sa nagkurog-kurog akong tuhod sa pagbinaklaya.

Balik ta sa pangutana kun nganong kahibulongan siya, kay kini "timing" nga mipakita sa panahon nga kailangan ko siya, di ba kahibulongan gayud? Hehehe, apan, sa ikaduhang paghuna-huna (*on second thougts lugar), dili ba kini sad kahibulongan kay mahimo kining makatabang sa ubang mga tawo nga nagkalisod, kay kini makapalit na ug usa ka putos nga sopas o nodels o pan para sa mga igsoon ta nga nagkutoy ang tiyan? Dili sa atong pasubrahan ang istorya, pero kung atong makita ang pagkaimportante sa bisan ani kagamay nga kwarta, nga kun sa saktong panultihon pa, dinhi nagagikan ang minilyones nga salapi, aning gamay nga denominasyon, kani usa ka butang nga makatabang sa atong mga igsoong nag-galisod sama sa mga tawo ang dili ko palang dugay nga nalabyan, niadtong septembre katorse. (Naghuna-huna ako, duha na diay ko ka-adlw nga nagbaklaya?! Hasgang hangola ko gyud entawon, aha man tawon ko naglaroy-laroy?! Pagkamaayong paliwatan, pangitaon na gyud ako sa among panimalay ani, perte ba gyud oy!)

Ug sa kadtong mga igsoon ta nga nag-usik usik ug nagpaka wala'y bili niining gamayng sinsilyo, wala ba sila naghuna-huna gayud bisag dyutay nga pinaagi niini naa unta sila'y bisan isa katawo nga ilang mahabwa sa pita? Dili man sa ako kay gibasol ko sila, ako lamang gipamalangdon kining mga posibleng sitwasyon. Pero, tungod kay gutom na ako, la na ako nag-usik usik sa akong oras ug dali-dali ko dayon nga giudlot sa aspalto ang maong singko, tungod sa kagahi ako kining gigamitan sa akong pagkalimpyo nga kuko, singot na kaayo ko, aaaaggghhh, hapit na gyu-u-d ni m-m-ma-ku-kukuha-aahh, *SPLASH! Sos, pagka-walay batasan atong jeepah! Gipisikan man ako, tan-awa, napuling akong mata karon ug halang kaayo nga wala na ako'y makit-an...aahhh, pagka-pait! P**I GI-AT** BIL** SA Y**A DAKO KAAYO! F**K!

...ipadayon :)

panglantaw ni bitoi

2005-09-14T04:34:00.000-07:00

Maayong adlaw kanimo nga nagabasa niining dagitabnong-sulat. Ako nakahigayon gayud sa paghan-ay sa akong mga gipanghuna-huna ug malipayon ako nga nakadesisyon sa pag-usab aning akong blog. Ako kining panganlan nga "panglantaw" kay kini magsilbi nga usa ka koleksyon sa akong mga kaagi, sa ato pa pinaagi niining bloggah, matapok ko tanan nga sugilanon sa akong kaagi, sa akong namatngunan, ug sa uban pa nga akong nahuna-hunaan. (Pasensyahi na entawon ang akong bisaya kay ako natawo sa modernong panahon na ug wala ako masuhito sa mga lumad nga mga pulong busa kining akong mga pulong naay pagka-moderno sad gamay, ambot kun ngano).

Ug sugdan ko ang akong sugalinon sa usa nako ka kaagi, ug dinhi ipa-ila-ila ko kaninyo ang usa nako ka kaugalingon nga gipanganlan ug "Bitoi", siya ako ug ako usab siya, (apan ayaw kamo ug ambak sa konklusyon kay siya hinimo lamang gikan sa kailaluman sa akong utok) ug silang duha usa ra. Pagkalilibog gayud.

* * *

Naglakaw ako usa ka kagabii sa kadalanan dinhi sa Fuente ug ako nakamatikod nga adunay daghan nga mga tawo ang nangatulog sa kilid-kilid nga dapit sa mga establisemento. Makahilak man nga pamalandungon, wala akoy dyutay nga katakos aron sila tabangan. Masulob-on ako nga namalandong, nangutana sa kaitas-an kun nganong kaning kadaghanan nga nagabikang-kang sa kilid sa dalan ug nagpahulay sa ilang gikapoy nga kalawasan, iyang gitugot. Anaa pa ba kini sila'y kaugma-on? Unsa may gibuhat sa atong gobyerno, nga sa tinu-oray nga pagkasulti, gihimo aron musilbi sa katawhan ug mu-amoma sa mga igsoon ta nga nagalisod. Apan subo man, wala akoy nakuha nga tubag, kay bisan man nga nagsakit hangtud sa nihawoy ang akong tangkogo ug hinangara sa kalangitan, wala may mga pulong nga ninggawas sa kangitngit nga puno sa maitum nga mga gabon. Ug maulay akong nakuha ang luwa-luwa sa kahitas-an, namatikdan ko dayon nga ako diay nagpa-ulan-ulan. Pagka-hanggaw ko gyud. Ug ako nagpasilong sa kinadu-olan nga atop ug nagpadayon sa akong pagbansay-bansay. Naghinay-hinay ako sa pagbaklay sa mga sidewalk...

Ipadayon...

PS: Kung kamo adunay komento, ako kanang mabulokon nga dawaton, kana mao usa ka pamaagi nga ako makamao sa inyong paglantaw. Hinaot ug ayaw kamo ug kaulaw sa pagbilin ug sulat, mga pagsaludo man o mga law-ay nga basura, okey lang, kay kana igo na nga makahatag ug kalipay sa inyong maalagaron nga higala. Daghang salamat.

utterly obliged

2005-08-14T01:32:00.000-07:00

don't dare say a word, i was utterly obliged, compelled, coerced, contracted, obligated, charged...

they just needed some answers, and i always find it amusing to hide the truth behind my back...>(

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. maynard
2. murlon
3. toibits (i've fuckin' disposed this fuckin' name, it sucks!)

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. maynardmurlon
2. renholder
3. bigfish

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my eyes
2. my pubic hairs
3. my beard

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my big butt
2. my hair
3. my beer belly

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Filipino
2. Spanish
3. Aryan

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. worms
2. worms
3. worms

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. i'm not a fuckin' girl
2. i'm not a fuckin' girl
3. i'm not a fuckin' girl

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. sneakers
2. pants
3. shirt

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. a perfect circle
2. the doors
3. john lennon

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. 3 Libras by A Perfect Circle
2. Imagine by John Lennon
3. Hold On by Sarah McLachlan

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. love
2. making love
3. tantric sex

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. i hate worms
2. i write naked
3. i can swim

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. eyes
2. brains
3. body

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. writing
2. photography
3. music

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. research and study for "Elements of Filmmaking"
2. talk to my girl
3. sleep with someone i just knew (she's damn hot!)

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. Film Director
2. Film Screenwriter
3. Film Editor

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Ireland (on an island where i dreamt my death)
2. Greece
3. Himalayas

THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
Boys:
1. Iesous Merlin
2. Iesous Alexander
3. Mordred

Girls:
1. Sarai Alexandra
2. Maria Hermioneia
3. Minerva Allew

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. write and direct one of the world's best films
2. win an Oscar
3. conquer the world

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. sex
2. drink
3. act stupid

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. dunno
2. dunno
3. dunno

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. Ava Gardner
2. Sarah McLachlan
3. Emma Watson

THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
*i don't want anybody to continue this thread! it sucks!

- - r e f r a i n - -

2005-08-09T01:16:00.000-07:00

- - - r E f R a i n - - -
u n d e r c o n s t r u c t i o n

i'm busy...zzz...zzz...

the Satisf*cktion

2005-08-01T05:23:00.000-07:00

i can't seem to compose myself at this moment. i want to take this opportunity to vent out my deepest gratitude to my ever dearest customers: "F**K YOU ALL!!!" and yet, it's still not enough...sigh! how can i ever relieve myself of this sickening frustration...

sigh, work...
talking to some people you don't even see...it sucks!

apparently, all my futile attempts to satisfy and please every person had just been the same circular manifestation of stupidity when all-too-long i've been aware of the hard-knocking fact. you can't satisfy and please all people because some of them are stupid (if not most) and any attempt of satisfying and pleasing them is futile otherwise you are stupid yourself who rolls along the wheel again and again and again like a clueless stupid hamster! (*my apology for my ranting, it may sound senseless if you don't get the point, i'm still deeply aggravated at the moment of writing).

i lost...at least i'm not stupid:)

"The leader of genius must have the ability to make different opponents appear as if they belonged to one category." - Adolf Hitler (1944)

blow jobber, job blower

2005-07-31T01:37:00.000-07:00

"astounded by what he said,
as he exemplified it with utter pride,
the captor of every opinion,
has a mind of lameless dysfunction."
- maynardmurlon (2005)

entertaining my seemingly restless mind, i ventured into the web to look for some interesting things and stumbled into a quite stunning revelation. i found an article about Keanu Reeves' wedding w/ Alan Cumming (Nightcrawler of X-Men 2, also appeared on Spy Kids). although the article was already months old, it still didn't fail to give me the deep-nerve astonishment. i never thought the fag could bravely and audaciously show it out of public since he managed to keep its secrecy for an unbelievable number of years. i could still remember him saying, "...I wanted to come out when The Matrix hit big, but my agents told me that it would be career suicide. I'm glad that I can finally tell the world that I am gay and proud today. Thanks to The Matrix Revolutions!" (*i can hear a lot of people growling: what the f**k?! i can't seem to live in a world where shallow-minded-dick-hungry mortals parade their stuff with such smugness!.) for the whole story visit joblo news.

this surprising revelation, however, doesn't give me the impression that the human mind (or the human's hedonistic behaviour) is getting better or wiser. as for the record, there has been quite a number of people who had successfully opened up courageously to the public about their homosexual relationship. and there has been a constant number of people who tirelessly criticized and opposed this kind of trend. the unending war between these two groups has been a very sensational entertainment; throwing prejudices against each other and always ending up standing on indiscreet reasons.

if my personal conviction would count, i would admit that i abhor the current "same-sex marriage revolution" for i reckon that the reason why people (these people i long believed to have had nightmarish experiences and confused recognitions, and probably most if not all have mental incapacity or hereditary brain dysfunction) who submit to this kind of outrageous idiocy and effrontery is to create an accepted status in the society. my reasons may be broad and not systematically refined however the basis is of solid and credible source/s. and yet, with all the bravado and hullabaloos, this thing is still subject to careful observation and coherent scientific investigation. morality and freedom should not be an excuse to extremity as prejudice and partiality be a likely reinforcement.

this morning's phonecall

2005-07-26T07:35:00.000-07:00

it's quite a cold day, rain gently showered the rooftops while it precipitated mildly from the bright cloudy sky. i was awoken by a disturbing miss-call(s)...and a message from a friend...

i recalled, i dozed off straight to slumber and forgot to call her early in the morning. i was so tired from the night's(?) work and just headed straight to bed just as my body commanded my brain to do so. i was dead...

but i promised to give her a ring...a wake up call...

that's why she messaged me about what she felt - an undying manifestation for care and worry! so i apologized and we talked...talked...talked...about how we were; about my work and her studies; about marriage (again?); about the relationship and restrictions she imposed on me; about my disappointments; about kids (and a mere mention about my dream daughter mercilessly struck me with horrible awe and melancholy); about god and religion and some others-consider-to-be-nonsense-because-they-don't-care-about-it things; and sex and masturbation...and sex and self-manipulation...over the phone...if you know what i mean. *and this devil laughed with mockery! (she's obscene, i can be, i'm the god...i'm reminded how the "great great golden copulation" can be achieved...she hates me!)

"my mind works tirelessly every single second,
and my intellectual masturbation is constant.
i'm deeply involved in my emotions and thoughts,
but you're unruly affection is so adamant...

i love it when you disturb me,
i love it when i disturb you,

no need for my approval, no need for my consequence,
we share the same obsession with considerable eloquence."
- maynardmurlon (2005)

the Fields of Gold

2005-07-22T02:22:00.000-07:00

One of those few songs that will leave you awestruck as you try to contemplate on the story this song is trying to paint. One of those few moments when the melody takes you to a melancholic yet affectionately inspiring Solace. "Cheeziness" may or may not be an excuse but it definitely doesn't spoil the meaning. I reckon Sting must've been in one of his most enthused and uncompelling disposition during the writing of this song.

What is it to me, then? It reminds me of those few things that I fancy in case I would end up with somebody. ('Kinda remind me as well with John Lennon's "(Just Like) Starting Over"). It's the melody, the beauty and the utter simplicity of the musical composition that makes the song so transcending as the words animate the music's choreography.

"...so I sat around and gaze at the film running in my mind,
and trace the trail of footsteps we've left behind,
when we used to enjoy those moments-together we stole;
painted a techni-coloured fields in our souls."
- maynardmurlon (2005)

Without further ado...

Fields of Gold
by Sting

You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in the fields of gold

So she took her love
For to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold

Will you stay with me, will you be my love
Among the fields of barley
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we lie in the fields of gold

See the west wind move like a lover so
Upon the fields of barley
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth
Among the fields of gold
I never made promises lightly
And there have been some that I've broken
But I swear in the days still left
We'll walk in the fields of gold
We'll walk in the fields of gold

Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold
You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in the fields of gold
When we walked in the fields of gold
When we walked in the fields of gold

jealousy idiocy

2005-07-19T03:07:00.000-07:00

eva braun could've defined her stupidity
however i think it's me who's recreating her story;
as most people considers her as the epitome
of a most-often-denied, most-often-dismissed reality.
i dare not mention the word
since it'd just send shiver to the reader
(and might just consider this as another
witless lyric of a pathetic infatuated dreamer).

i forgot to call you
because jealousy overwhelmed me...
the thought of your disposition
embraced with all the possibilities
that i'm incapable of stopping
had me paralyzed to just succumb into mine weary.
i forgot to call you
because i didn't want to;
and i realized that i have some pride
and decent masochism that i can parade against you.
i forgot to call you
simply because you were there in Davao,
probably enjoying your escapade and
...and you're "out of coverage area" somehow.

oh, how this evil mind runs like yours,
oh, maria you're a wicked seductive whore,
and how you accuse me of whoring around in 'ere
when you yourself is being coquettish anywhere.
oh, women, lennon you're damn right -
they're "niggers of the world" alright!

understranded

2005-07-17T04:17:00.000-07:00

oh, how it saddens me,
understanding misunderstandings
and being stranded somewhere in nowhere -
oh, what nonsense is taking me,
and having contorted musings,
this i consolingly deliver to what i have sought after.

here i am, currently trapped in my mundane world,
here, i long for yet another recognition,
here, i struggle to fight emptiness and loneliness,
here, i am alone with no one to hold on.

oh, maria, how i miss you...

there, afar, is my best friend,
leaning comfortably with his penchant.
there, afar, is my family,
still composed of my father and mother and brother
breathing under one roof sheltered from their fears.
there, afar, is my girl (or used to be or supposed to be),
enjoying her displeasured life-to-be.

oh, maria, how i miss you...

here i am, waiting for my one to beget me mine daugher,
'cause she always desired to be a mother,
and i ought to wait for her to show to me,
the greatest of mine fantasies.

oh, maria, how i miss you...

deviance

2004-07-31T05:08:00.000-07:00

in this world full of unlikeliness
where people chooses to live or die,
one person stand elusively amidst
the certainty of what's thoroughly unseen,
defies and negates every conformities!

i live through everyday without a single
glimpse of appreciation,
i wander in every street to find a perfect
solution to man's lustful abomination.
i saw nothing, nothing to hope for.

yes this world is a world to power!
overcome the man inside, and unleash
what i am in overlooked reality...
i am the Overman, the highest level of every attainment...
contemplate and resist every material,
submit and reconnect...
...breath

murmur no. 17

2004-07-31T05:01:00.000-07:00

"What God put together,
let no man put asunder."
In the Holy Words of the humanly Written Testament
from the inspiration of a purely divinely-defined God.
(Used to be a main purpose of life -
in very devout every compelling commandment
of this celebrated diety.)
'Tis the beginning of the seemingly sacriligious
definition of a sweet Family...
soon to be overly exaggerated an excuse
for continual obligation to imprison
every possible odds of liberty!

God was not wrong when he declared his Words,
God was not wrong when he proclaimed his power over Man,
God was not wrong when he threatened to sought wrath
to anyone who foolishly defy Him or
His innate scheme of running this World!
(Tell me how can you be wrong when you play God?!)

...but Man is,
and Man has continually used his unreliable reasons
to supplement his deceiptful action over every individual of his kind.

And what power has the flowery paper over the
decision and obsession of every individual?
And what power has the orated public documents over the
free-will and independent thinking of every individual?
And how can it bind two couples for a lifetime
when it merely states and constraints them
using the mediator's (or the interpreter or the untimely ecclesiastic)'s
bent unsupportive constricting legalities
and a wayward and corrupt understanding
of the Holy Words as an excuse?!
Is there sense in understanding it's shallowness?
A shallowness they consider to be deep
because of their convincing but largely twisted justifications!

When a fussion is forced, fragments will continue to seek
possibilities of a relative fission,
hence, it explodes! Explodes into sinister debris that decays dignity!
...and why not let it go? Make it happen?
Cheat and deceipt will be born? Oh, yes. Definitely,
like how this whole world started its reality.

Sweet Family will die, sweet Family will die,
and there'll be nothing else to rise...
Oh yes, sweet Family will die
for a better New,
for a warmer New,
for a greater New.
Oh marriage, how corrupted you are when manifested
through violent and cruelest of intentions of your vile mediators!
Why don't you rest and bury yourself into nothingness,
God never expected you to be like this!
Marriage of true minds embrace the carcasses of your rotten existence,
and let the binding of souls be a revelation!
Who says I don't believe in marriage? Oh, yes quite, I am.

murmur no. 16

2004-07-31T04:57:00.000-07:00

One of the saddest things
a person will ever have to experience
is to lack an acquaintance so pure,
an acquiantance supremely overblessed -
it's neither planned nor devised
but superficially mutual among the individuals.
It is but a rare circumstance
to be involved in this deepening encounter:
some degree higher than absolute understanding of things,
some degree higher than visual knowledge,
some degree higher than causal reasoning,
some degree higher than other things unexplained,
some degree higher...

Precious experience
bound for symmetrical ethereality
Precious moment
in union, in harmony

Without this experience in one's circle of living
or any means of reconnecting to this phenomenon
is a dull and lowlife method of breathing
through this defines the saddest thing a life is built upon.

Do I therefore impose to absolute my convictions?
What do I consider reasonable when I have no doubts experiencing it?
Though in a minor stage,
this circle revolves
to continually
infinitely complete it.
Or anyone I can certainly declare,
they would definitely do the same as mine convictions laid Truth,
as nobody would dare compare to falsify its firmness.

Like all other experiences dare not denounce
its elusive and hidden essence and spirit,
it's an experience to start with a beginning -
a joyful celebration, a treasured birth -
a Great Great Golden Coppulation!

murmur no. 15

2004-07-30T04:21:00.000-07:00

ill-faceted display of self-righteousness,
manifested in an awkwardly applausing behaviour.
sigh! how i wish they would all just Die...
but no! not an instant Death!
they deserve the cruelest agonizing slow Suffering
before they should be thrown into eternal Nothingness!
alas! only then would they be able to realize
the degrading rottening Humiliation that they impose;
only then would they be able to see
the disparaging Corruption that they inflict.
i am Mad, Angry, Furious, Annoyed, Infuriated
to these Maggots - bloodless cold-hearted Maggots!
without my Angst, nobody would dare question
the grievous Filth that they shower upon every Disadvantaged one.

proclaim! proclaim! proclaim!
herald the misty character
of your
Self-righteous Suicide!!!

may your Father bless your godly deceipt
and may He breed with you His divinely cum.

ugh! punish me, punish me...
i rest.

murmur no. 14

2004-07-30T04:19:00.000-07:00

...and the world proclaimed its self-righteousness,
what a delighting preparation for a dinner -
a dinner of forever; a dinner of everlasting grief!
why did I say this? my statement is profound,
mostly annoying, irritating, disturbing, inflicting.
...and who the world says it is?
people believed to be the conformity, the living legacy
of the ever-grateful and dignified Tradition - Hypocrites!!!

low-eyed
profit seekers
empty hearted
hollowed souls

woe! woe! woe! dwellers of a strong Tradition
that merely defined what is the blatant reality
of unfree, careless, incompassionate mediocrity.

god speaks, people gossip;
god listens, people gossip;
god punishes, people gossip;
god hates, people gossip;
who murders more? who degrades more? who rots more?
both of them? who is more capable of doing what is unthinkable?
both of them?
...and I say, yes, both of them.

what do you say I am?
madman? world hater? loner?
I detest the world as much as it detests me...
satisfied?...Tradition, People, World...applause
SUCK!

murmur no. 13

2004-07-30T04:16:00.000-07:00

i have come across a highway of commandments
supposed to be in strict execution,
one thing i knew about these commandments is that violators
will never be set to rest even after their deaths...
so i wondered how would i be able
to escape the merciless incompassionate atrocity
i will be facing ever i will commit a grievous trespassing
of this extrasuperficialmegalomaniacaldivinedeceipt law?...
i wondered...
how did this become a possibility...
a commandment so powerful yet so narrow...
i asked myself,
today,
3 weeks after i have committed trespasses
against two of the commandments
set by the respected and holied elders and prophets of a divinical church,
declare myself unworthy to be called one of the children
of this overly defined but secretly doubted GOD...

i believed i have not sinned against any divine definition
but has merely went beyond imagination of those so-called holy prophets
who claimed have received the holy words of their creators...
for my unbelief of their guides that continue to corrupt the innocence of free living,
i shall consider this day to have substantially attained a position worth respecting for,
in the gradual divination to become one of the few minds
to achieve a higher resolute and infinite thinking of being an Overman...

and so have i sinned?
SIN is God-made, planned, devised and schemed,
impliedly unstated, undefined,
to provide chains
for his army of innocent and weak and powerless
homosapiens sapiens known to humankind as man.

i shall rest to seek further...to step anew...to reawake...